03/05/25, Junior Points Match #4, Canal Lake, Whitemoor.

Firstly, I’m going to apologise for the rather down beat nature of this issue of the Mud-Slinger. Normally the blog is the toilet dwellers best friend. But, even after a night’s sleep, there isn’t much to write about that I could make funny.

Fortunately, days like today are few and far between. I’m glad about that because, if they were more common, it would be tough to justify any of it.

Don’t go thinking it was all bad, because it wasn’t. But an accumulation of small things morphed itself into a day quickly forgotten.

I’m not going to individualise everything because I don’t feel it would be constructive or helpful. Let’s just say that more than a few things must change, so we can be a better version of what we had yesterday.

A lot of people thought that I blamed myself for yesterday’s events.

I don’t.

But I am responsible for the decisions I made…

Let me explain.

In the pursuit of constant improvement, I always look to find ways to make the juniors better. A fluid calendar of fixtures and venues, particularly new venues, is a high priority.

Each year the calendar is moved around so we visit different venues at different times of the year. There is nothing worse than becoming stale.

Sadly, this bit me quite hard yesterday and it purely down to circumstances.

There used to be a closed season to allow fish to spawn. Not only did we arrive at a venue where this was still happening, but I knew about it days before and did not move or cancel the event.

The lake on which we fished is a challenging venue for adult anglers, let alone inexperienced juniors. It requires long pole techniques that many of the junior do not have. Do not think for one moment that it is a bad venue, far from it. The Canal Lake at Whitemoor is a stunning place to be, as is the rest of the fishery. But, even the owner, Tom, said at the end that it was not the right place for young juniors to fish in a match situation.

The pollen was atrocious, and no doubt affected the fishing. Nature is something even I cannot control. It lay on the ground like train stopping snow by the end of the day. A hay fever suffers nightmare. Irritation aside, it did look a bit like a Japanese fantasy animation. But I think that is usually blossom rather than itchy pollen.

Couple all this with issues before, during, and after the event and it all became a bit of joke.

One thing I will mention is that I take it very personally when people feel the need to go home early, for whatever reason. I feel I have failed in some way to give juniors that day that they have been looking forward to for a week or more. I understand there are many reasons for leaving early, but no words will take away the feeling of disappointment I get when it happens.

As I have already mentioned, it wasn’t all awful and there was lots of learning going on.

It must be a remarkable day when the only girl present does not have the most flamboyant hair. There was some spectacular ‘do’s’ walking around. A couple of times I had to hold Jerry back to prevent him from resurrecting his ‘Salon years’ and dishing out some Bracey trims with braid scissors.

Jon Bass gave me nightmares by showing me a picture of himself without the ‘face fuzz’.

I refused to accept as being real, even though I knew it was. A streamlined Gentle Jon just doesn’t look right. Who would have thought that he sported Mauri facial tattoos?

It was good to see ‘Old Lightning’ back again, and it is somewhat comforting that some things never change. Thomas is still delightfully impatient and still likes to use as many rods as he can in the time allowed. (An absent) Austin definitely has competition for the ‘who can create the biggest island using only bait’ award….

Coach of the day surely must go to John Evans who, not only coached the living daylights out of Harry Willmer, but also prevented my name from being called out 30 times a second… In all seriousness, John did a cracking job coaching Harry who was extremely grateful.

The sense of smell award goes to Tina Toulson. Who knew that she could smell ‘Joop’ from over 150-metres away? Being the wearer of the cologne that makes a middle-aged fat white bloke smell like a hormonal teenager (again), I was asked to ‘please, step away from me’.

I was wrong in thinking that she didn’t like it, quite the reverse was true.

Next time out I’m going to give all of the coaches a dose of it to see if we can’t get her to reach critical mass and implode…

Gnome of the day goes to Josh who held a 14.5-metre pole with great skill and accuracy. Nothing that unusual until you think that, if you stood any further than 20-metres away from him, you couldn’t actually see who was holding it! The forces acting on his body must have been immense, earning him a new nickname of ‘Ant-boy’ for picking up an object 20 times heavier than himself…Kudos Josh…

Patience of the day was won by Josiah who sat it out on the feeder to catch four Carp big enough to move the needle on the scales. In fact, they moved them right round to 12lbs 2ozs and gained him the win and 25 sweet championship points. Winning on an easy venue is one thing. Winning on a very challenging venue when it is about as out of sorts as it is ever going to be, is another.

End peg 'Charlie' Kenzie Toulson did a good enough job to secure second place with a collection of fish to weigh 5lbs 13ozs. Spawning activity was at its heaviest at this end of the match (peg 8), so catching anything is an achievement. A light trim or a ‘Bracey cut’ would enable him to see more bites, and we wouldn’t need to be constantly turning him round to face the lake…

The other end peg ‘Charlize’ was Mia Evans who managed to coax a Carp from beneath a tree and spend some time in her keepnet net. At 3lbs 14ozs, it was the only fish she caught all day. I can suggest less time ‘Squirrel fishing’ in trees would give her more time fishing in the water in future. Mr Carp was big enough to earn Mia her second third place finish of her match fishing career….Well done…

Alfie Ellis proved that ‘pole theft’ does not pay. Weighing in 2lbs 15ozs was a little way off the pace, but you can’t be disappointed on a day like this. Like Kenzie, the fish were simply going nuts in front of him. Even the ducks’ eyes were glazed over with ‘fish egg fever’. Remember kids, always ask permission of an adult before pinching their equipment! Using the excuse of ‘inheritance’ doesn’t count either!

Freddie Campbell had a quiet day in the middle of the match length. I say quiet, but he still managed to pop enough fish into his keepnet to end up with 3lb 1oz and 4th place on the day.

Despite a successful pre-match practice on the Canal Lake, Jayce’s nets remained sadly untroubled by fish for the full 5-hours. That didn’t stop him from staying on after the match to try and level the score with fish that were, on the whole, otherwise occupied.

Other ‘no weighs’ today were Alec because he didn’t feel well (feel better soon, kid) and Austin because he decided that holiday was a better option. (He must have known)…

Results today are:

1st J. Wells-Parkes 12lbs 2ozs

2nd K. Toulson 5lbs 14ozs

3rd M. Evans 3lbs 14ozs

4th F. Campbell 3lbs 1oz

5th A. Ellis 2lbs 15ozs

6th J. Roe 1lb 12ozs

DNW A. Campbell

DNW J. Hardware

DNW A. Scott-Kennedy

T. Millard 3lbs 12ozs (Coaching)

H. Willmer (Coaching)

Thank you to Jerry, John, Jon, and Martin for your assistance today.

Thank you to Tom at Whitemoor. Today was no reflection on a great fishery. Everything looked stunning and very pristine, particularly the fake snow (pollen) which we could do without next time please? Thank you for your continuing support…

Normal service will be resumed next time which will be a new venture for us at Luckfield. The theme for the event on the 17th of May is ‘Proper’ Fishing with buzzers bells and lots of camouflage. I will be out of my depth (again) and I’m sure we’ll all learn a lot! There will be regular coaching available, but the theme will be on specimen style fishing.

Apologies again for a lack lustre Mud-Slinger this time around…

Juniors Sec…